July 30th, 2019 Certainty Dynamic

by koku_jin

July 30th, 2019 Certainty Dynamic
Sunday was a 5-star day. Monday was a 4-star day: I maintained the
integrity of my calorie budget, I remained refined sugar-free, I
exceeded my daily water goal again, and I stayed well connected
with exceptional support.
The past couple of days have been filled with getting some things
done. I’ve decided I’ll be taking some much needed time off very
soon. I don’t know what I’ll be doing with that time, but it’s mine
to take, so I’ll take it and figure out the details later.
My daily practice has been in a really good place lately. I’m
grateful!
I’ve found that maintaining a balance with my food and exercise
requires that I’m mindful of my emotions and stress level balance,
first. When things are going smoothly in the non-food &
exercise areas of my life, I feel empowered and confident. When
life throws a curveball or two, and suddenly things aren’t as
harmonious–that’s when my awareness level must be on the highest
setting.
I’ve given myself quite a bunch of self-study in this area of
balance. My conclusion centers around one of the basic human needs:
Certainty. 
When things get bumpy and out of sorts, the first thing that goes
is the comforting feeling of certainty. My deeply ingrained
reaction to the loss of certainty is to replace it as quickly as
possible–if not with certainty, with something that gives me the
illusion of certainty. For me, obviously–it’s always been
food.
Of course, it’s only an illusion of certainty. A bag of double
cheeseburgers never gave me peaceful certainty in the middle of
turbulent times. It only gave me an illusion of certainty within
the amount of time it successfully distracted me from the reality
at hand. After the distraction, the uncertainty remained–but
worse; compounded with self-loathing over the binge.
One of the biggest realizations for me was found in taking
responsibility for my part in creating uncertainties. It’s the,
my own worst enemy deal. I don’t create every uncertainty in
my life, but I’ve certainly been responsible for a good share.
Being mindful of my behavior and actions and how they can
potentially upset my balance of certainty is a critical awareness
to maintain each and every day. 
Nobody is immune to this certainty dynamic. How does anyone like me
get through the loss or weakened state of certainty without
taking a tour of every drive-through in the area?
In my opinion, it comes down to the ability to compartmentalize
certainty. And doing that requires taking a personal inventory of
things we’re grateful for in our lives. In this exploration–this
inventory, we can find certainty where we weren’t looking. And then
we can believe that all is not lost because we have something,
several things, perhaps, that are certain in our lives.
Instead of feeling like everything is total chaos–we can find
peace in some areas and that helps us deal with the uncertainty in
other areas.My gratitude list is long and that helps my uncertainty list
feel a little shorter.
I’ve written before about the importance of keeping my lifestream
and fundamental elements stream running parallel and not letting
them cross. Losing certainty in certain areas can create turbulence
within the streams. When the forces of uncertainty are pressed and
we’re holding our fundamental elements stream steady, it’s not
easy. Dropping the fundamental elements stream, effectively
allowing the lifestream to come crashing down across, might seem
like a very natural thing to do–and considering the circumstances,
we sometimes experience, it might also seem completely
excusable.But why would I drop something I’m immensely grateful for having
in my life, especially in exchange for the chaos and uncertainty of
whatever we’re passing through at the moment? 
In keeping steady the things for which I’m most grateful and
finding the certainty in the things I can, it will only help me in
dealing with the uncertainty of most anything else. The illusions
of the contrary will not fool me into believing otherwise.

View this post on Instagram

#breakfast
2 egg whites, 2 whole eggs, 33g black olives, and one slice
colby-jack on toasted Ezekiel. 221g watermelon and 3.6oz orange.
#dailypractice #foodplan 559 cal.

A post shared by Sean Anderson
(@seanaanderson) on Jul 30, 2019 at 5:16am PDT

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Sean
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